Teach my song to rise to you

All of the sudden I feel this tremendous weight when thinking about what it means to parent.

Up until recently, my main concerns in the parenting of our son included the following sorts of things: deciding on what sleep method to use. What to feed our son and at what age we should introduce these foods? Should I say “no”, redirect him or do something in between? How do we transition to one nap? Or even things I’m less proud of, such as, did I emotionally damage my son today when I yelled out the window, “Why don’t you just pass me dumb ass”? ...  not a proud mommy moment.

There seems to be endless things to think about when parenting and if that’s not bad enough, everyone seems to have a different method that seems to have research that proves they are right. It could truly drive you crazy. But more than this, something else has been weighing heavily.

I’m noticing that my son watches us. He learned how to put the laundry in the machine without us teaching him. He began “watering” our potted plants one by one after he watched me do so. When his dad was cutting down a massive tree/weed in the backyard, he picked up the branches one at a time to bring them over to the wood pile which he just saw his dad do. He’s watching us. He’s learning how to interact with his world based on the way we are interacting with ours. 

Yikes.

I can’t help but think about what kind of person my boy will become. Not just if he’ll become a musician, or a lawyer, or if he’ll be a photographer like his dad. But what kind of life he will lead. What kind of person he will be. Will he really love and search to know his maker? Will he show compassion to those around him? Will he make peace with those who are hard to love?

I think I have all too often forgotten the day to day impact we have on the people around us, particularly our children. What a huge and awesome burden.

Teach my song to rise to you. And when I cannot stand, I’ll fall on you. Jesus you’re my hope and stay – Matt Maher