My first day

So today was my first day at my new internship.

I am in my second year of my Masters program in Social Work. After working with families at Head Start and a community mental health center, I realized that I was in a great position to help people but didn't have a lot of knowledge to do so. You know, the kind of knowledge where you can confidently assure yourself that you have an approach or a theory to back up what it is that you are doing (like it ever really happens that way, but go with it). Thus, I made the decision to plunge back into the life of a student.

Although I've been a student before, this time around I have had many "new experiences". First of these, is a change in sleep. I love sleep. Kevin calls it a gift. I have an ability to fall asleep anytime, anywhere and passionately enjoy every moment. This last year however, things have changed. I have actually joined more than half of the nation in experiencing sleepless or partially sleepless nights.

Some of the others include:
Anxiety. I've never been an anxious person but this year I'm pretty experienced in the area.

Not having weekends due to paper writing or textbook reading.

Public speaking.... hate, hate, hate! I once heard that more people are afraid of public speaking than death, count me in.

But seriously, the most significant and new experience for me has been to dive into situations not knowing what I'm doing but allowing my whole heart to be present.

Today I got to go on a home visit to the house of a foster mom. I got to laugh with and make faces with a 13 month old who lived most of her life on a dirty motel room floor. Her life thus far has held more painful experiences than any one person should experience in their lifetime. But here's the cool thing. She is happy now. She is in a loving about-to-adopt home and she is smiling. She just learned to walk. She'd fall and bump her little head, cry it off, and then come back out smiling. What a resilient little girl.

Somehow now my problems seem so small. I will give many more sleepless nights to see little ones sleep in a clean bed. I will endure anxiety to see little ones eat three meals a day. I will endure public speaking to be able to see little ones laugh. I have a feeling this year is going to be full of all of those "new experiences" but nothing, nothing will compare to being able to watch lives go from ashes to beauty.

Matthew 18:2-5
He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."

P.S. The picture is taken by my husband, Kevin at a Christmas party for some of Aurora's finest kids.