At this moment

At this moment, I am incredibly thankful for the opportunities that have been offered me. At this moment, I am a little scared of what's to come. At this moment, I'm here.

I feel a bit nostalgic thinking on the last couple of years. They've been some of the hardest I've experienced for a number of reasons. Yet, I think because of that, I've learned a lot about myself and others.

I've learned that its always just a little more complicated than it may look on the surface... for the 8th grader who bullies; for the 8th grader who's bullied; about the complexities of being a foster/adoptive parent in our system; about the complexities of being a biological parent in our system; about the complexities and impacts of adoption, domestic and international; and about people - we are always way more complicated than it may look on the surface and I for one, need to offer more grace and forgiveness.

Life is actually really hard. I've learned that each day is new, one with opportunities or obstacles. And many times those can be interchanged simply by my mood and desire.

My husband will love me no matter what. These last two years have been hard on my friendships and my relationship with my husband. We haven't had a lot of time together, yet, he has been the biggest supporter of me. Spending more time with him is one of my most favorite reasons why graduation is going to be so much sweeter in a week.

I can actually do this. I've been given gifts and talents that are purposed for serving others. Despite my insecurities and feelings of not believing that I can change the world in some small way, I can. "And now to him who can keep you on your feet, standing tall in his bright presence, fresh and celebrating... be glory, majesty, strength..". I believe God will keep me upright, on my feet, even when it feels like I might be navigating with blind eyes. I'll have a guide.

People, even the ones who may do things that I may never understand, are all hurting, growing, and worthy of a second chance. I know that sounds a bit idealistic, but I feel it to be true. I've met a mother this last year who was struggling to provide adequately for herself and her children. She did something that resulted in her children being removed from her care. 6 months later, she's getting her life together and is getting healthy for her kids. What if she wasn't given that opportunity? What if people looked at her as if she were worth nothing more than the things she's done and never gave her an opportunity to change? Then we'd have a lot of people walking around who had nothing to live for.

Let me tell you, words cannot express how happy I am that these two years are done. That I'm graduating and can go out and do what I love to do. Despite my sheer joy that I never have to write another paper about trauma or complete a case plan for a "fake" family, I am utterly thankful for my experiences in grad school, even the bad ones. Never thought I'd say that but it's true.

Congratulations to all the wonderful people I have met these past two years who have dedicated themselves to others. I'm so thankful to have met all of you and wish you many blessings!